In 2007 I was heartbroken and feeling betrayed in the wake of an emotionally intense – but mostly cyber relationship. Around the 4 or 5 month mark, I sensed that he was trolling the internet for someone new – but I ignored my intuition and took his words at face value. The relationship continued in denial for about a month. When I later found out there may have been some truth to my gut feelings I impulsively bought a last minute ticket to Scotland.  The ticket was only $550 return -taxes in.  I had never thought of going to Scotland but there was something wildly romantic about the notion of screaming my frustration out on the windswept moors on the other side of the planet. Well the screaming on the moors thing didn’t happen – but I did cry a lot.

I ended up in Oban as a result of a coin toss and decided to carry on to the Isle of Skye. Thanks to insanely cheap absynthe, my bad decision to drink whatever the drinking dice dictated, and an illegal Shakira move on the dance floor, I badly injured my knee on the first night. This left me stuck in Oban against any smidgen of a plan I may have had.

While stuck in Oban I discovered the island of Iona was a short journey away. I had studied the island briefly in high school western civilization course. It was culturally significant because that was where a group of Benedictine monks wrote the book of Kells – which essentially saved Christianity by the skin of it’s teeth.

I loved the feel of the little island. It was so tranquil and feminine. It was there that I got the wild idea that I was going to marry myself in the ruins of an 800 yr old nunnery…

At the time the marriage seemed strictly symbolic. It wasn’t until seven years had passed and the man returned to my life that I was prompted to look back to find out where we had gone wrong. It was then that I noticed in the seven years that had passed there was a connection between that fateful day, the ring that I still wore, and the realization that my heart had been closed for all that time  (despite a 4.5 year attempt at a relationship with a childhood sweetheart.) I realized the ring had become like a talisman of heartache and emotional defense. .. A shield against vulnerability. It had to come off – but it wasn’t as simple as merely removing it and sticking it in the jewelry box. I decided it had to come off with the same intensity of emotion and ritual in which it was put on. I knew it was time to take it off as it seemed to be catching on everything – making it’s presence known on a regular basis…I felt like Gollum from The Hobbit. It was “my precioussss…”.

Shortly after I made the decision to remove the ring I stumbled across a incredibly cheap last minute ticket to Cancun, Mexico. Just like Scotland, I had never felt any real pull to Mexico. I saw it as one of those places everybody else went to – so I would visit it later in life when I had finished seeing the places that were more exotic and less overrun by tourism….However fate always deals me unexpected cards – and cheap flights – so I had to heed what must have been another prompt from destiny…

For the first week in Mexico I struggled to find the right place and the adequate privacy for the ritualistic casting of the ring. Nothing seemed right about the time or place – and the words I wanted to say eluded me.

As it did in Scotland, everything came together on the last day… I had returned to Isla Mujeres and on the recommendation of several people I rented a golf cart to drive around the tiny island. I remembered reading about a fairly unimpressive set of ruins on the south point of the island so thought I’d check them out – and hopefully it would be a good place to do my ritual. It was my last day so either way the ritual had to be done.

In the end it turned out that there couldn’t have been a better place – and looking back I found many parallels between Punta Sur on the tiny feminine island of Isla Mujeres (Island of Women) and the nunnery on the tiny feminine island of Iona in Scotland. Both spiritually significant places. Both dedicated to the feminine. Both on tiny Islands. Both connected to the Atlantic — though opposite sides. Scotland was where golf was invented. I got to Punt Sur riding a golf cart. LOL

As I neared the archeological site I noticed a rainbow in the sky. It seemed odd to see a rainbow in such a blue sky in the complete absence of rain. The significance will be explained later. Here is the picture though:

It was bright and sunny when I passed through the ticket booth to walk the short path to the ruins. Nobody was visible so I began to make up my ritual as I walked the path to the ruins…

With every step I said an affirmation. Some of the things I said were:
I believe in true love.
I believe my soul mate is near.
My life alone is almost over
I release all old lovers.
I release all pain and fear.

As I neared the ruins seemed to suddenly clouds rise up to obscure the sun. Here is a pic of the sudden change of lighting. (This is more significant looking back than it was at the moment.)

I had to pause my ritual briefly when I reached the ruins to find a couple taking pics on the ruins. I spoke to them briefly and exchanged cameras to have our pictures taken on the ruins before they wandered off and away. I now had the ruins to myself.

The ruins were quite diminutive. All that remained was three crumbling walls belonging to a building hardly bigger than a shed – but its location on the most southern point of the island was breath taking. This place was the where the Atantic Ocean and Caribbean Sea met…The first part of Mexico to feel the morning sun. I later learned this site is dedicated to the Mayan moon goddess Ixchel- who is known as the lady of rainbows, the protector of female fertility, and the healer.

I had previously written my relationship fears on a piece of paper and decided to burn those fears in the shelter of the ruins walls. As they were burning the paper I kept saying over and over, “These fears are no longer true. These fears are no longer true.

When I was down to a small shard of paper I noticed a hole in the ground and decided to drop the last bit of paper into the hole rather than burning my fingers. As I attempted to do so a gust of wind blew up from the hole and almost blew the ashes into my eyes. I found it startling and eerie…

This is what was rising up in the sky as I was burning my fears:

After burning my fears I took some pictures of the spot then moved to the dramatic point of the island in front of the ruins and began my incantation for the most important part of my ritual..

Staring down at the boiling sea below me I said aloud:
“I am ready to open my heart…to give and receive love to it’s fullest. Sheilds and walls no longer serve me. (This is where I started uncontrollably sobbing and cast the ring into the water below) The man of my dreams is close. I believe in true love”

This is where I cast the ring:

Once my heart opening incantation was complete, I took a few pictures and walked away being careful not to look back. As I walked away I said more affirmations such as:
” I am walking towards my love. I am walking towards my new life. I believe in true love. My soul mate is looking for me – and we shall see each other soon…)

When I returned home and viewed the pictures I had taken after burning my fears I noticed the camera had picked up some strange phenomena that was not visible to my naked eye. I will post in order of how I took them.

In the first picture you can see two large red “smudges”..

In the second picture you can see the red smudges have moved a bit – but the strangest thing is the dark blue smudge and the small but bright blue cross in the bottom left… What is THAT?

Then it gets crazier. I moved away from the ruins and down a small embankment. You can see the blue smudge and the cross have risen into the sky half way up the right side:

I am not sure what happened there – but something has changed in me on a very deep level. In the first week and a half after this I lost 15lbs of stubborn weight. I realize I had began to battle weight after marrying myself in Scotland. Since that ritual in Mexico I have lost a total of 25lbs (two full dress sizes) in only two months – without trying. Perhaps the weight and the ring had been working together to shield me? I am now no longer invisible to men who pass on the street. My creativity is beginning to return – and I have lost my desire to over consume alcohol….

Now I wait to see how everything else unfolds…