The flight aboard Air China from Vancouver to Taipei, Taiwan was the longest and most brutal flight of my life. It was thirteen hours. Thirteen hours of I cant drink water because it will make me pee and the bathroom smelled so badly of old bilge I nearly threw up when I tried to use it at the beginning of the flight. Thirteen hours of no sleep because the green screen of insanity – which they called a personal TV – was the same quality as many other things manufactured in China. I had no control over the defective TV. The screens turned off in the morning – so then the sun kept me awake for the rest of the journey.

Thirteen hours of I can’t straighten my right leg because I ended up with the weird gear box thing in front of my seat.

When I arrived in Taipei for my plan change I had an hour to find the bathroom of my dreams and get to the next plane. There was panicked running – and there was glorious relief. After the bathroom I feel I really could have dropped to my knees in this very politically correct location (below) to express gratitude to any of the gods that may be hanging here:

The flight from Taipei to Bangkok was like flying with a different airline. The plane was in much better repair and the food was ten times better than the prison food they served between Vancouver and Taipei. I am not sure what their explanation for the contrast would be.